captainmediocrity

Forever The Optimist by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Forever The Optimist

Maybe... I hate that word More than anything So much possibility But only one meaning Only one REAL answer Always the optimist with the emptying glass Always the eagle with the clipped wings Always NO I can't find my way around a sentence I can't string together the words Simple, elegant but memorable Something to make you consider me A few syllables edging towards hope Just a chance to hear you say Possibly...

My Heart Is Yours by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

My Heart Is Yours

So while you aren't here the words are coming to me They made me realise that I completely adore you I know I've felt it for a while but not this strong You're always on my mind, it's been you all along I close my eyes and you're all I see A swirl of colours and timeless beauty I swear to myself that it's just a phase But two years passed and i'm still in a daze I can't help the way I feel I've tried but I can't stop No matter how hard I try I can't just turn this off I really want to be where you are Just to see the sparkle in your eyes To hear your voice one more time I pray for a life without 'goodbyes' I would hold your he

A Thousand Questions by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

A Thousand Questions

You stroll in, late Not really a surprise No excuses, no apologies Just emptiness and disregard I've been waiting I've been thinking of you Have you been thinking of me? I doubt it, but I'm sure you've been busy Too busy to call Too busy to notice me AM I EVEN HERE?! I could scream, you wouldn't even flinch It's been this way for years It's been this way since 'him' Why punish me for YOUR infidelities? Why do I apologise? I did nothing wrong How did I end up begging YOU to stay? How did this end up being my fault? I pushed you away..? (cue sarcasm) Of course, I'm sorry It's perfectly understandable I don't know what I wa

The Beginning... by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

The Beginning...

I sit and tap beats On the steering wheel You're next to me So close yet so far away... I've tried so many times Words get stuck in my throat I try so hard but, but, but, Nothing seems to come out I'll sit and think for a while Form the words in my mind Repeat them over and over Eventually they'll just spill out You'll have to notice You have to notice me Am I the only man alive With an inability to co-ordinate brain and mouth without nonsence cascading out You sit and we talk and talk and talk But still the words won't materialise Am I doomed to get left behind? Doomed to a lonely life... God, I wish my heart was in my

Shutdown by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Shutdown

So I walked into the darkened room Where I've stored all of our memories And everything that reminds me of you The pictures are over-exposed I've burned every letter and note Your expectations were too much to live up to I lay and wonder if the night will bring me peace But I'm stuck on you and me, on how we used to be The flicker of hope in my heart is starting to go out Over and over I'm writing songs about you not being around Lay this man to rest His heart is giving up He's been fading away since you said you've had enough Leave this man in peace His final breath is near He'll die praying for words that he knows he'll never

Gladiator by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Gladiator

i despise who you have become i tried to idolise everything about you i almost worshipped the ground you walk on now i can't stand looking at you your eyes are full of evil venom's dripping off your tongue you may think you can hurt me i've seen this coming all along the times you never heard me call the times when your voice gave you away the times your eyes betrayed you i saw the end long before it came try and believe that you never did me wrong soon you'll realise i knew your faults all along so take away the moment take away the memories make me feel the numbness that i know you wished on me take away the promises dest

This is my time by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

This is my time

it started with a whisper then the words just flooded out the need for conversation a desire to work it out i've got so much to tell you these words don't come easily my heart tells me to stay here but my head tells me to leave you're just standing, waiting no clue this is what i need acting like i'm not here you never had faith in me you're just staring blankly all your words are stuck inside i wish that i could see what's hidden behind your eyes i'll try to say this now i don't care how you feel i need to be alive again i need something real i'll try to say this now i don't care what's on your mind i need to give mysel

Shocking, amazing by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Shocking, amazing

a storm in a teacup that is what you are a thorn in my side but brighter than a star never let me look away i don't want to miss anything can you feel my eyes on you? can you see the smile you've given me? shock and amaze me that is what you do i think i''m going crazy and it is over you never let me look away i don't want to miss anything do you know you set my soul on fire? i can finally feel my heart awakening... never doubt the strength of one look my resolve is really weakening i know that you're a chance i took but i'll never regret anything i can finally feel my heart awakening...

Expressing regret by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Expressing regret

i forgot who i was you were there for me i let you down you always cared for me it's only a year and a half in a life of twenty-three but this broken heart struggles on inside of me and i threw it all away even though it was all i had and i threw it all away forever fading away... hope left when i walked away from you i wish i could take back the things i said to you but i can see forever fading away our forever is fading away...

Forever in five months by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Forever in five months

it started as a thorn in my side now it's an ache in my bones it's eating me from the inside i'm letting myself go i thought you'd at least listen but i'm still just your fool i knew we would end up here if i put my faith in you when will i listen to words knocking around in my head? when will i believe i can be a stronger person again? i used to be cool i used to be fun i used to be alive taking life as it comes this choking sensation takes me over i can't seem to catch my breath i know they say that love hurts but you're loving me to death the time has come for us to part but the thought makes me insane forever in five m

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Featured Gallery

Forever The Optimist by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Forever The Optimist

My Heart Is Yours by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

My Heart Is Yours

A Thousand Questions by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

A Thousand Questions

The Beginning... by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

The Beginning...

Shutdown by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Shutdown

Gladiator by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Gladiator

This is my time by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

This is my time

Shocking, amazing by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Shocking, amazing

Expressing regret by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Expressing regret

Forever in five months by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Forever in five months

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Koame123

Monique17

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Harli

lovelyart

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tearsandbrokenwings

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Watching 12

Lamb--Ox

D4RK3ST

lumiere-dor

Harli

knatroka

lovelyart

minibro

infinitetrance

Mikeol2007

tearsandbrokenwings

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xDarkestHourx

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Favourites

This is inevitable. by Racketeered, literature

Literature

This is inevitable.

In the words of Alanis, "I believe that one and one make two." You and I aren't two, so much as we're one and a half, and I'm struggling to make you believe I'm something more than an angsty mess. We met on the corner of 'Complicated' and 'Wrong', which is far more true than it is poetic, but there is a coffee shop two blocks down with the most perfect iced tea and a window for watching the world turn. We bonded over our love for love and our neutrality towards one another, though even with our differing tastes in music and your terrible choice in hats, I'll continue preaching friendly indifference, if only to keep your sanity

Nostalgia by Racketeered, literature

Literature

Nostalgia

The summers of my childhood consisted of traveling down old country roads and feeding baby animals along the way, only completed by Fleetwood Mac on the radio, sang quietly by my mother, masked by the wind. I knew nothing of my father's illness or my mother's slipping compassion, or of the demons I had yet to discover. I'd like to imagine I was happy back then, but I can't recall that memory, and I was too camera shy to prove otherwise. The only clues to my childhood were drawn on napkins disposed of long ago, and the games of Rummy played with my grandmother. I'll always have a sweet spot for that woman, for she is the only pe

Lemonade by Racketeered, literature

Literature

Lemonade

We sit beneath my neighbor's apple tree, sipping lemonade and enjoying the buzz of construction coming from the old house. You never knew the girl who lived there, but you're better looking, and that's all you would want to know. "I thought you didn't want kids." The house is a perfect representation of us, seemingly fine at first glance, but hiding a weak and decrepit interior. With every swing of a hammer and pop of a nail gun, the foundation gets a little stronger. It's too bad all things aren't that simple. "I don't. Not really." This yard once held a swing set, and behind that a garden, where the most ripe and juicy tomato

Pick up the pieces. by Racketeered, literature

Literature

Pick up the pieces.

His laugh was the soundtrack to afternoons of growing up way too early and waking up far too late. His smile could warm the soul of even the most brokenhearted girl, and on several occasions, I admired his boyish charm. He made it his mission to make friends with the kid in the corner, playing altruist to those who needed it most. His hair blended in perfectly with the sun, and if you weren't watching closely, he'd disappear right before your eyes. Few would ever see the pain he harbored, and only the most seasoned ears know the sound of his tears hitting the floorboards. He told me he felt alone, but now he's just lost, and

She's breathing again. by Racketeered, literature

Literature

She's breathing again.

1. She spoke of the way his spine curved perfectly, the way his skin hugged his body so tightly no bone was left unaccounted for. If she believed in God, this boy would be the answer to her prayers, but she lost faith in the products of man's imagination long ago. i. The first gift he gave her was a pendant that symbolized fertility, and it was the first time something of material value brought her comfort. She wore the necklace just above her chest, because nothing could get in the way of him finding his place in her heart. 2. He was the man she had always hoped for, ever since her childhood days of imagining friends and creating worl

Deviation Spotlight

Gladiator by captainmediocrity, literature

Literature

Gladiator

About captainmediocrity

June 20, 1986
United Kingdom
Deviant for 16 years
www.facebook.com/lookingglassdiaries
He / Him

Badges

My Bio

I'm a songwriter who lives in Essex, England.
I'm guitarist and backing vocalist for up and coming band 'Looking Glass Diaries'.

Favourite Visual Artist

Michaelangelo, Monet

Favourite Movies

Elizabethtown, Lord Of The Rings Trilogy

Favourite TV Shows

Fringe, Family Guy

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Seventh Wonder, The Dear Hunter, Taking Back Sunday

Favourite Books

The Wasp Factory, Alex Cross Series

Favourite Writers

Chuck Palahniuk, James Patterson

Favourite Games

Final Fantasy X, Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time

Favourite Gaming Platform

Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii

Tools of the Trade

Guitar, Pen, Paper

Other Interests

Driving, Reading, Cinema

Posts

Oct 31, 2010

Bring on November!!!

0 min read

The band is going immensely well. After a series of seriously good practices we have decided to take it to the studio! We are recording a 4 track EP at Leeders Farm (previous clients include Arctic Monkeys and KT Tunstall!), which is the studio owned by the ex-Darkness guitarist Dan Hawkin. It's all very exciting. We have selected the 4 songs we're recording, I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!! In the meantime, between work shifts, I have written a number of new pieces of music as we plan on recording an album in May 2011 (which is the main reason I haven't posted anything for a while). Just trying to have a wealth of material to choose from. :) So

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Jul 5, 2010

Good times ahead :D

0 min read

I'm writing music again. Mark Hansell will be singing a lot. I will be playing guitar and singing a bit. We require a bassist and a drummer. All in good time, we have what we need to finish our demo. I'm more excited than I've ever been about music. The songs are going amazingly well. I'm reading and writing more than I have in years, I may post some of it. I have waited and good things came to me. It's the first time I've ever been single and remotely happy. Next ambition: gigging band. I shall pursue it like a nutter, hopefully with Mark by my side. Mark, you have made me believe in a better life. Thank you. If you have read th

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Feb 12, 2009

it's been a while

0 min read

so, it's been ages since i came on here. i just realised that i don't actually see anyone in my friends list anymore either, i can't believe how much my life has changed in a year. almost one year clean and sober now, my head is finally starting to feel like home rather than hell. months of therapy and anti-depressants really do help, i regret being sceptical for so long. i have a new car! it's lovely, it has a big diesel engine and looks pretty sexy :) i also have been seeing a girl for a month, i'm pretty sure i'm in love and it feels great. she treats me so well, i feel lucky to have her. on the poetry/song front things have been quie

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Profile Comments 157

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Aug 20, 2011

I just looked at my last comments and saw that you have a habit of making me happy with your lovely comments and favorites.

You are truly lovely!

Aug 20, 2011

Holy cow thank you for the favorites!
(You made my day amazing)

Lamb--Ox

Mar 19, 2011

Hey thanks for the fave

Was just experimenting (: lol

Jan 28, 2011

did you know that you made my day into sunshine?

Jan 31, 2011

Your writing truly inspires me.
It is utterly beautiful.

Jan 31, 2011

Well thank you from that furthest part of my heart

I'm glad it has an impact on somebody cuz that means I succeeded!